A Tribute to My Dad, the Friend

Dad

 

My Dad never met a stranger.

He greeted everyone with a smile and a handshake and was always quick to introduce himself.

He loved people…

Church people, Softball people, Rotary people, Young people, Old people, Clients and Work people.  I feel like a Dr. Seuss book.

My Dad grew up going to church with the Chumbley family.  Oh, the stories they could surely tell!   We got to hear a few of them at my Dad’s celebration of life service and then we spent most of that weekend reminiscing on the fun times they shared.

Mark Chumbley had this to share with me…

My two prominent memories with Geren. 

     Dwight had a couple shetlands at the farm while they were living there. I would go home with Geren on Sundays after church and stay the afternoon. One Sunday, Dwight and the rest of the family had gone visiting. We weren’t allowed to ride the ponies if Dwight wasn’t home. Geren decided to get out one of the ponies to ride. He saddled it up and took off in the pasture. The pony headed straight for the barbed wire fence to brush Geren off. Geren “bailed” out and ripped a hole in his pants from the fence. Just as we were leading the shetland back into the barn, Dwight came up the drive. Geren was confined to his room the rest of the afternoon. 

     On Sunday nights after church several families would meet up at A&W. Dwight had just bought a new station wagon and said my sister and me could ride to A&W with them. Dwight ordered us all a nickel, frosted mug of root beer. As Dwight was passing the first mug from the window tray to the back seat, he told us we’d better not spill any in his new car. As Geren grabbed that first mug, it slipped through his hand and spilled out down Dwight’s back and the front seat. Geren had no root beer that night and for a long time thereafter!

I actually heard that story about the root beer from Mark on the last day I got to spend with my Dad.  He came up to the Nursing Home to see him, told him he wanted to take him for a ride and go get some air.  My Dad never responded, but I know he knew Mark was there.  The love of a friend.

And then there’s Kenny.

Talk about the love of a friend.  Kenny was a friend to my Dad until the very end.  He, too,  came up to see my Dad at the Nursing Home that last day, but that was not the first time he had come to visit.  He visited my Dad a lot.  From his time at Amber Glen to his stay in the hospital, to his final days at the Nursing Home.  And he never came empty-handed.  He almost always had a milkshake for him, which of course my Dad would slurp right down!

Before my Dad went into assisted living, Kenny wasn’t just a good friend to my Dad, but also to my Mom.  He would come and pick Dad up and spend a couple hours with him to give my mom a little reprieve.  That’s a forever friend.  From growing up together in the church, to raising their children together, who would then also become forever friends, they did it all.  I think the only regret would be, they weren’t given enough time.

Time.

It’s a funny thing.  Our time on Earth is but a blink of an eye, and how thankful I am that God blessed my Dad with great, forever friends.

Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.”

I end this post with a tribute to my Dad, from one of his best friends…

I knew Geren nearly all his life, and towering above the fun times, laughter, hijinks, and adventures we shared was Geren’s goodness. This is what I most remember about him. There are those who are good in the worst sense of the word, and there are those who are good in the best sense of the word, and Geren was in this latter category. There wasn’t a mean bone in his body. He was kind to all. Even when roused to anger—which was rare—he never lost control; he didn’t curse, swear, or say insulting things about the object of his ire. 

 But it’s not enough to merely live a life free from vice; love demands a life that blesses others. On more than one occasion, I brought to Geren’s attention someone with some need, and without exception, he always did what he could to help. That’s mercy; the kind of mercy meant when God said, “I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink.”

One of the clear indicators of the Alzheimer’s advance was the atypical behavior Geren displayed with increasing frequency last fall. About a week before he went into assisted living, I picked him up to take him for a ride. We were heading toward Champaign, when he suddenly reached over, put his hand on top of mine, and said, “I love you.” I thought then, and I think now, that he said it because he knew the time was short for him to speak his heart. Nothing he could have said better summarized the mutual love we shared as friends for sixty years.

Said Carlyle, “Man passes from Eternity, is encompassed by eternity, and again in Eternity disappears. It is fearful and wonderful. This only we know that God is above it, that God made it, and that God rules it for good.”

And to this I say, Amen.

Kenny Chumbley

16 thoughts on “A Tribute to My Dad, the Friend

  1. Judy Roberts says:

    Such sweet words from some of Geren’s dearest friends. Although they didn’t share the same last name, Chumbleys and Roberts have always and will continue to be family, forever friends. I can’t begin to express my thanks for the Chumbley men; Mark, Kenny, and Phillip. All three were so helpful to me with Geren, taking him for rides to give me a break. I will be eternally grateful! Love you all!

  2. Berneice Poyner says:

    Such a beautiful tribute to Geren. The words said were so true of Geren. He truly was a man of God & showed it in so many ways. His willing to help in any way possible. I was truly blessed to have had him for a son-in- law & will always have many memories of our years together.

  3. Judy Glazik says:

    I always knew your dad was a great man, but to hear these memories from his friends makes him even greater in my eyes. What a beautiful tribute to him from two of his closest friends. Thank you for continuing this blog in his honor, Heather. Blessings to you and your entire family. ❤️

  4. Aunt Susan says:

    The Roberts family and the Chumbley family have been “family” for as long as I can remember. I’m so grateful for the loyalty, laughter and unconditional love our families have shared. Thanks for always showing Geren how incredibly loved he was! Thanks for keeping his memory alive by sharing his stories!
    Heather, thank you for another heartfelt post. I love you darlin’ girl!

  5. donna carpenter says:

    HE WAS A GREAT FRIEND OF MINE IN SCHOOL AND MY FMLY. I LOVED HIM AS MUCH AS I DO JUDY, AND THE KIDS. WHAT A GREAT MAN HE WAS, AND I LOVED U BABE. I WOULD NEVER ASK MORE 4 MY JUDY! SHE LOVED U SO VERY MUCH!! AS I DO HER AND AUNT B. I`M ALWAYS HERE IF U NEED ME. ALL ANY OF U IS 2 CALL!! LOVE U ALL SO VERY MUCH….. donna!!!!!!!!!

  6. Karl Spencer says:

    I was really sorry to hear about your father’s passing. He was always there to say hello at church services, and see how things were going for me. I was writing my thesis and was having a rough time. We had some aspects of our education in common. He made a difference to me. I always enjoyed visiting with him.

  7. Debbie Fillenwarth says:

    Heather, your blog is a real inspiration to all. Listening to Kenny talk about your dad has brought so many examples of pure friendship. I remember an incident showing your father’s true caring. Our son, Charlie and your brother Dustin played baseball together in Rantoul. They had a game at the ballfield behind the pool in Wabash park. We had borrowed a friend’s video camera and I was video taping the game. Dustin was pitching and Charlie was in left field. It came time for the inning to start and the ref yelled “Balls in”. As I was watching and filming thru the camera a baseball suddenly came into view and it was apparent that I was it’s target. Now Charlie could rarely hit the broad side of a barn when he would throw the ball but this one was a heat seeking missile I was the heat! The next thing I knew it hit the backstop fence in front of me and of course the videotaping became unimportant in the realm of saving my own life. After things settled and the laughter ceased Geran was one of the first to come over to make sure I was ok. To this day we still remind Charlie about the one time he got the ball back in!! Your Dad was always so proud of Dustin and his pitching even during the times when he wasn’t doing as well as he wanted him to. A father’s unadulterated love for his children is what I will always remember about your dad.

  8. Tom Brown says:

    Heather I love the photo of your dad in this blog. He was so handsome. Everybody was comfortable around Geren because he was so real and likeable and friendly. The number of friends that attended his visitation was incredible and a testiment to the man he was. I sure loved him and miss him but I know he is with the Lord and his brother, Steve.

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